I torture myself by eating food that I have forbidden.

When I hate myself I eat more.

I hate myself.

I have no control; the pressure building underneath my skin is the forewarning of hysteria.

I tore my skin in an agonizing panic of helplessness.

I feel disgusting, overwhelmed by my own depraved behavior. 

A sour candy to drool over.

Chew me up and spit me out.

"Yummy"

Willowy branches wrapped 'round ardent ebony, brown wades into blue-green. 

Planted within a wavering sea, rocking in nonexistent strength.

Heart's pieces pining for the truest blue, cloudy memories of treacherous ground. 

Shivery pulses vibrate beneath skin.

My mom walked in on me while I was wearing a t-shirt and underwear. I felt really upset because she didn't look horrified by my figure, I'm not skinny enough. SHE SAW MY THIGHS. Scream. Scream. Scream.

"Tiny ribs like a sparrow's bones, I could have broken them all with one rough caress. Sugarplum heart beating wildly in its cage. Everything so small, so perfect."

I am a failure. 

I seem to be unable to successfully do anything, except be a loser. I excel at being a loser. 

Wow, a pro loser. Fuck me. 

...

 I just had an unsuccessful bout of purging.

My eyes feel heavy.

I want to be skinny.

Success.

There is nothing. I am broken, watch me bleed. I believed in a future. I am given nothing, except that which is preordained to be taken.