We'll drag you through the mud. 

We say it's fun and games. 

Inside we're laughing. 

You're disgusting and you know it.

Rip me open.
Inspect.
Leave.

I want that pain.
I'll take it for you.
I'm so sorry.

The shadows could soon have eyes.
Still, the knife under my pillow lays quiet.
I pace, warding off sleep.
It will come all too soon.
Barricades, no locks.

I dream of the things that are beautiful in a broken, quiet way. Wrinkles and age. Faded colors from long ago eras. The once beautiful now thrown away. Houses left empty. Pissed in and used as a place for the self proclaimers. In my subconscious, the sadness of the things that no longer matter call out.

I seem to think I'm "okay".
LET'S BE REAL FUCKING HONEST HERE.
That would be a no.

Not smart enough.
Not pretty enough.
Not fucking thin enough.
Justnotfuckingenoughever.

Choosing all the wrong options.