In all my dreams

I am haunted.

Nightmare

Or no

It's always there.

The new normal. 

He said it.

You knew it was coming

You complete moron.

Thought you were getting away with it. 

But yeah, why the hell would anyone want you.

you think you matter and it's almost
comical
if it weren't so pathetic
as your heart
skips a beat
the world
chimes
worthless

You ever get the feeling that you don't know you?

At any moment something not you 

bubbles at your surface

Your identity is a million lies 

you struggle to keep straight

it's never deep enough
to reach that black
I was doing great
until I slipped
and realized
it feels so damn me

I feel stuck
I'm begging, but it falls on deaf ears
If I was skinny, if I was kind
If I wasn't weak
Have you ever thought of me as part of you
We're never apart, yet I am always lonely

All my dreams end in sadness.
My children die
I endlessly search until I wake