I wasn't really there. Do you know what I mean?
When words have no meaning, because you left part of yourself behind.
Preoccupied.
And you don't really care.
But you go home crying.
The streets are silent.
And there is where
you
are
all
alone

I'm not sure who I am. I see myself so differently from what they say they see. Yesterday was...beautiful. I had this strong feeling that I was unreachable, like I was safe. My everyday feelings of anticipated anxiety were diminished.
I was protected by a thought.
Think more to think less.

Today
was a blur
(does that mean I'm in)
of cars? Because I don't remember driving myself to work
I only remember the extreme discomfort of being in my skin.
Then I saw myself in a mirror and I didn't recognize myself.
Yuck.

Thinking about life
Thinking about how I keep thinking I'm free
After this last step
but the fine print
those tiny inscriptions
and they have their own even finer print
on and on and on

consequences
law
uncertain choice
subconscious need

In the end

I'll stand there
and realize
that all of this
and all of the sorrow
Was to bring me here
this moment.
All along
I just wanted
to be here
to be free