Symbolism.
To purge my failure: burn something.
Burn something.
Me.
Something.
Cigarettes.
scream.

She hissed "out of the way you big lug!"
A wave of nausea threatened to overwhelm me.
Should I use these words to strengthen my resolve?
I don't know anything.

It starts as a blank space. You stuff it down, hide its existence, but it grows. Now it's a hole, a black pit that has no end; you stuff it down. Only now it envelops you. You try to grasp its edge to contain it, but there is no edge, just a foggy line that will not be grasped. You should have screamed when you had the chance. Now you're just floating.