I don't want to give up, but do I really have a choice? I cannot see the future, I cannot see the past. I'm standing still in a life of disarray. Yet what does a person, whose every hope proves false, aspire to believe in? Life does not get easier, it chokes your dreams. I thought I was a fighter, but I became the victim of sick self-doubt. I no longer have any independence, I am dependent on invisible drugs.