drunk alone as ever
put him to bed
and all of the nonsense
fantasy and reality
look at what you charm
patterned little life
for the one who asks for release



i laid on the floor
the rejected, too large outfits surrounding me
carve open that arm, please
i can barely breathe
i want a scar that tunnels deep to the elbow
i made this
this choice
this step
lustful
deceived by fantasies
cloudy little dreams
of normalcy
but look how far from normal
look at you, the voice of reason once again
where is your lovely little dream, now
how many times do we have to gut you and start from scratch
porches, puppies, sunrise, sunset, love, smiles

you are the dust under their floorboards, baby
say it
just
say
it